Jainism after all

I do still feel compelled, however, to do as I said I would and explain why I don't  believe in Jainism.

A question that I believe to be a good test of any philosophy of life is does it bring life? In other words, does it lead to greater goodness, stronger and more genuine love, and revelation of truth in the lives of those who adhere to it, or does it lead in the other direction?

In Jainism, there is a concept known as Moksha where one annihilates all karma (good and bad) and become a Siddha (one that has attained the ultimate goal). They can then go on to Moksha where their souls are finally freed from the endless cycle of birth and death (reincarnation), and ultimately achieve it’s pure self.

That, in a nutshell, is what Jainism is all about. - www.modernjainism.com/testimony/

What I consider to be the primary problem with Jainism, as with all religion*, is that it is inherently selfish. In Jainism the point is to reach Moksha. Most religions have the idea that some sense of 'heaven' can be acheived - whether Paradise, enlightenment, Moksha, or the like, Some religions, such as Christianity and Islam, also believe in an alternative which involves eternal pain. This alternative, the consequence of failing to please God, then inspires fear in the members and drives them to work harder for their place in paradise.

How the Jesus-movement differs, is that once relationship with Jesus is entered, heaven (or 'salvation') is already secured, so there should be no more striving. All good deeds are not done in order to merit a place in heaven, or to outweigh the bad ones. Rather, good deeds are done because they are good, because they benefit another, and because as our love for Jesus grows so does our desire to be like him. This is love -  to give or do for the benefit of another, at cost to yourself and not for your own gain.

Unfortunately, members of the Jesus movement, those who know him and are known by him, very easily fall into a fearful religious mentality where they return to their old ways of trying to earn God's favour and their own merit and in doing so misrepresent who he is and what his love means. I am one of these, but I hope I will learn quickly to rest in his love and already-pleased-ness instead of striving for what cannot be earned.

* Religion -  a human system of serving a philosophy, person, God or another , usually in the interest of attaining a goal that serves personal interests.

Guilt

Guilt makes up such a great part of our lives. I don't know about men, but women tend to worry about what they do.

Yesterday I was sitting in the company of some mothers, some with little children, and I noticed how guilty some of them feel. Okay, maybe it was just two of them. One felt guilty because she doesn't give her children enough opportunity to paint pictures. The other because she fed her child when he was tired and then he got sick.

We feel guilty so easily. We feel guilty about say,  things we don't do, that we might feel just as guilty about doing. If mother one did let her kids paint pictures a lot, she might feel guilty about 'indulging' them. Mother Two might possibly have felt guilty if she didn't feed her child because she might have felt she was just avoiding a difficult task. And children have to eat!

I feel a bit guilty about going to study at a great university. I don't know how I would have felt had I not gone. Maybe guilty that I am not using my opportunity, that I am not being a good steward of my opportunity. Maybe guilty that I am taking a low-skill job from someone who never had the chance to study.
When I think about this I still feel bad about my decision. I don't know who to listen to. I don't know whether to listen to my guilt-ridden concsience or the mature believers around me who tell me to 'walk and not stand' and not to be silly, and that I should take the chance to get an Education, because not many people do.

But this post is not about me. It's about guilt.

How biblical is guilt anyway? Guilt about sin, yes. But guilt about painting pictures and going to study?

Can anyone out there give me an answer?

I'll go pray about it.

I am so tired about feeling guilty about decisions and second-guessing myself.

I even have second thoughts about this post. Why, I don't know. I didn't lie. I'm not plagiarising.

I don't want to delete this post and not publish it. Aghhh, this is so paralyzing.

Edit: I prayed about it. Now I can post it. :)