Pray

I once saw a list of titles, and at first I thought it was the words to a hymn... You could really compose a hymn from hymn titles... Would that be a superhymn?

I walked past a laptop screen and glanced at the playlist, and this one title stood out so much I don't remember any of the others.

What If His People Prayed?

It chilled me to the bone. (Okay that's an exaggeration). I was really touched and compelled by it. I was reminded, as if by a blast of cold air, that we really need to pray.

I'm a selfish prayer. I pray about my faults and needs and wants. I pray briefly, unless I'm upset. I do pray for others. But not a lot. I guess I feel that there's not much to say. I am more acquainted with my own problems than with theirs. "Help me with this this and this please, help so and so with that, and thos people with that. Thank you."

Of course I don't really pray that disrespectfully, but you get the idea. Now, I don't want to confess feeling guilty just after a post about unneccesary guilt... and I don't feel guilty about the way I pray.

I just feel that I have underestimated prayer and that I can pray better. Not longer because 'do not pray like the nations for they make long prayers, and your Father knows what you need before you ask Him' and 'they make long prayers and devour widows' houses'

Maybe more.
More thankful.
For more people, for the persecuted church, for my friends who are struggling, for Israel.

I think I am too tired to pray right now... Tomorrow I'll be too busy... or not!

blogness

The reason I don't blog much, is not that I don't think much. I do. I have lots of things mulling around in my head. However there's not much of all that that I want to say.

Some of the things I think are downright heretic. It would be nice to get rid of them, but this is not the place. I can't voice my heretic thoughts where someone might hear them, because it might very well be wrong to say.

Other things are just too personal. I appreciate honest blogging because it causes me to see that I am not alone in being imperfect. But I'm not doing that. Call it insecurity if you like.

So that's why I don't blog a lot.

There are some things I think that I might want to say on this blog, but I'd rather say it to a person who can reply, instead of leaving it out there in thin air for people to smirk at. I'm not accusing anyone of smirking. It's just a word that fits.

Slow to speak

That verse makes me think.

That maybe I shouldn't be talking.

Does 'quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger' mean that it is better to keep quiet? Not to talk unless it's of the utmost imporatnce?

Or does it mean in situations where you may say things out of anger, it is better to listen carefully before you talk?

Or does it mean something else?

I would like to write long posts about other things but, ahem.

Speechless

I am dumb, speechless.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to blog.

I have ideas every now and then, but I doubt my ability to communicate them properly.

I think the fact that I have a few followers adds to this problem, because now I know that what I write will be read by people I know (or know in a sense).

I hope I'll get over it, and start spouting nonsense (and more meaningful stuff) again.

In the mean time I'm blogging about it.

Talking

Thinking is better than talking.

If I said everything I thought, the effects would probably be disasterous. As it is, I already say things I shouldn't.

This subject has been bombarding me from Scripture, and from my conscience. I realised how many times I say negative things (true or false) about people, in their absence. To say it in their presence would be hurtful, but to say it in their absence is really worse, as it damages their reputation without them being aware of it. So they can't try to repair it.

I would be horrified if people had said similar things about me, and I knew of it.

With Elohim's help, I resolve to try (not making any promises here), to change.

That brings me to another thing. Vows and verbalized intentions. So often we say I will, and never 'get round to it'. Did Yeshua not say let your no be no and your yes be yes? No and yes may not have as much binding effect as vows do, but we should consider them in all seriousness.

What about joking? I suppose the victims of your joke should a) not be victims in effect and b) be aware of the joke element. Solved?