Happiness

I am so happy. Sooo happy.

I can explain, a little. I (rather reluctantly) gave my life to Elohim. I said: "OK, fine, You're in charge. You save me, I can't. You change my life. You make it go the direction you want. I trust You."

Of course, I didn't say it quite like that. But that's what it came down to.

Not that I was a lying, cheating, selfish atheist before that. I was a selfish Christian determined not to lie or cheat or break any commandment. I'm still selfish, I guess. And I'm proud and judgemental. Especially the judgemental part. But I don't worry about this. I also don't worry about doing everything (Godly) exactly right. I don't worry that there are parts in the Bible I don't understand. If I don't know how to do something 'right' and I don't know wether I'm doing something 'right' I don't worry. I don't worry. The End.

I didn't expect my 'life to change'. I just decided that Elohim knows what he's doing, and he won't ruin my life. I didn't expect it to make me so happy. But it did.