happiness

I am incredibly happy at present.

I am writing this, in part to remind myself in future times that I was happy at present moment. So I can remember when things go rough that life actually has the potential to be really good and pleasant and enjoyable.

I am also writing to avoid other duties, such as homework, studying, and playing flute. I have made a rule for myself about playing flute: I may not do any studying/homework duties, or go on Facebook, before I have played a bit of flute. The last bit of the resolution was added later. I am surprisingly good at sticking to this resolution, according to my standards. I'm not usually good at resolutions particularly not those that concern eating.

I'm not too sure why I'm so happy. I could have blamed it on 'knowing I'm in God's will', but to be honest I know I fall way short of His perfect will. Maybe it's knowing that it's okay, I don't have to measure up. A journey towards accepting imperfection.

It's like this: I don't know what He wants me to do. I think he wants me to live and enjoy life joyfully, but a little voice in me pipes up and says that can't possibly be true! Life is not about your own enjoyment, it's about glorifying God. And I know that, I have just been thinking lately that enjoying myself is a way of glorifyig Him. Enjoying my work, working hard, enjoying rest, resting well and happily, enjoying dinners out (despite the expense), enjoying being by myself and being with friends, does all of this not glorify God?

Or does He actually want me to spend every minute I can spare rigorously seeking and 'praising' Him?

I don't know. But I have peace about that (which is profound for me). I have a sense that's it's okay not to know.  And I have a strong inclination towards the former, despite my doubts...

Ed. update: I realise a very important part of this whole happy-story which I forgot to mention. A day or so -or a night- before the happiness set in again, I was feeling pretty mopey and down and tired and bad about feeling mopey etc., and I really wanted to be excited about life. So I asked God to change me so I could enjoy life (or something to that effect), and voila, see who's here. :) So I am  greatful* and excited and happy and peaceful - and wondering a bit whether I should be so chilled. 

*(The original spelling of the word reminds me too much of a sharp surface designedfor slicing cheese into strips)